I always like to start off a blog entry with a photo and this is no exception with a sunrise during the Great Ocean Walk in Victoria in 2009. By the way it has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this post...
Now, I'm a few blog entries behind where I thought I'd be by this time of the week, but I keep getting distracted which is not helping me get much done. Whilst I was doing some aimless perusing of the internet I thought I'd check out Steven's blog at 'My Life Outdoors'. Well, guess what I found? He's running a little poll to 'Vote for your favourite outdoor blog'. My blog is in the list and it's looking a little out of place with few votes my way. So, I thought I should write an entry for the purposes of selling my blog to you and what better way than a random post typed straight off the top of my head? After you read this you should head over to Steven's site and vote for me pronto. You may be mumbling, "Why should I?" whilst gulping a cup of hot chocolate. Well, let me explain and what better way to begin by saying I'm the best bloke I know. In fact I'm so good, I enjoy waking up in the morning and meeting me again. I get to shower with me, walk around with my feet and it's really wonderful hanging out with me. Mm... Okay, where's Freud when you need him, so he can decipher that last sentence?
Instead of talking about myself for the next 25 paragraphs, I'll mention what anyone who looks at outdoor blogs would know already and that's Hendrik Morkel at 'Hiking in Finland' has built a steamroller of a blog that keeps gaining momentum. He has a great site and he's dishing out a fair bit of 'whoop ass' to other outdoor blogs which is not surprising from a 6' 4" tall, blond, god-like beast with rippling muscles. With his outdoor blog dominance I can imagine him lying back in a toga being fed grapes and fanned with banana leaves by a bevy of semi-naked women whilst his stereo is pumping out 'Ḉa plane pour moi' by Plastic Bertrand at full throttle. So, I'm fully expecting his monster fan base to swamp the vote, but I have a few things up my sleeve. Let's have a look at what I can bring to outdoor hiking blogs.
Firstly. Polarizer abuse! Look at the contrast and the totally freakish sky containing no glare!
Next up is unusual looking men with things on their faces!!
There's random 'beards' combined with thick lustrous hair that could almost be Elvis wigs...
More of the same, but hiking with artwork?! Umm...Yeah, sure!!!
Now, in this entry with the 'Aqueous Pulse 1' I was trying to bring a little culture into hiking. A sort of 'puff and pant with your Rembrandt' method whilst walking. Now, I may have been topped, as I noticed this week that the Goat has slipped a bit of poetry into his blog. He's pushing the limits of cultural street-cred now and if you don't vote for me, then I think you should vote for him just to reward him for testing the hiking blog boundaries. When I last looked he had one vote and that happened to be mine, so I'm expecting a bit of 'Goat comeback'. In honour of his last entry I thought I'd come up with some 'poetry' of my own.
"From the days of the steamboat,
whilst decked out in a waistcoat
It's tough learning via rote,
and blogging can be cutthroat,
But, if you're looking to float your boat,
you better get into the Goat,
Don't think of a demote,
just praise the Lord and give the Goat your vote"
Pretty impressive huh? Yeah, okay it's not exactly Shelley or Keats, but what did you expect when I only spent 12 seconds writing it? What else can I offer?
How about climbing Victoria's highest mountain, Mt Bogong with the 2011 IKEA catalogue?!!
It doesn't end there, as how about random photos of a man in his underpants on a cliff edge displaying IKEA to the world?!
I can also see that people like to read a blog where it's not all fun and games. Don't worry, I've got that covered as well. How about some injuries!!!
Blood and Betadine!!!
Plain old blood!!
I should wrap this up shortly and by the way, I'm well aware I've used up my weekly quota of exclamation marks.
I started this entry whilst listening to music and a song came on that sent this post off the rails. It was 'Svefn-g-englar' by Sigur Rós who are an ethereal band from Iceland and this song is amazing, especially from the 1'24" mark. A wall of noise swamps the senses and it's similar to what a low, hovering flying saucer would sound like above my neighbours house (Not mine as I wear an alfoil helmet at all times to prevent aliens and the government reading my thoughts. I've thought of everything). Then the vocals start and they're sung in a strange falsetto style that sound like a Sasquatch whispering sweet nothings in the ear of a Sasquatchette. It's fantastic and why wouldn't one be a little off kilter after listening to that?
Well, I've exhausted myself banging on and I forgot what this entry was meant to be about. Oh yeah, vote for me or the Goat. If we don't take your fancy there's Tim and Robin at Appalachìa & Beyond who seem like really nice people who you would be happy to have come into your house and share a few Bratwurst hot dogs with.
I would normally mention Frank over at Our Hiking Blog, but he's not on the list. I think you got shafted Frank!
That's it for now. Actually, you don't have to vote for me if you don't want to, but just remember I can actually reverse the output of my alfoil helmet and monitor why you declined. I hope I don't pick up any other unusual thoughts whilst I'm tuned in...